But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
im six kinds of drunk right now
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Randomize
