she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
