i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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