even my farts smell like vagina
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
