ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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