A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
