We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
