god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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