the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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