Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
