You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
