Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
