I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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