We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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