Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
