Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
