im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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