Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Randomize
