Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
