State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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