If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
