Whod you bang
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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