are you so shy because you have an std?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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