Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Less talking, more tequila
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
