god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
