The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
