ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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