She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
