She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
