remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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