Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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