come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
