So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
