I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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