Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
