The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
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