we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
