This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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