at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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