I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
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