My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Randomize
