Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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