So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
