Screwed.edu
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
