There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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