i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
