Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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