hell yes lets make some ravioli
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
