I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
