I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
