I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
