It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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