Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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