I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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